Lux

I had an appointment to give blood yesterday, only to discover I'm not actually eligible to do so - and not for the reason I expected.

I was expecting them to say that I couldn't donate because of the medications I'm on, because of my mental health - that kind of thing.

I was no expecting it to be because of J. Apparently, as a woman, I cannot donate for at least three months after sex with a man who has ever had anal or oral sex with another man. J has slept with two guys in the last 50 years he's been sexually active, and the last time was 13 years ago.

So he can give blood, because it says a man cannot give blood within 3 months of having sex with another man. But unless me or S don't have sex with J for 3 months, we can't give blood.

How does that even make sense? S has run up Welsh Blood Services and they've confirmed it as well.

Even more frustrating is that I'm blood type O so I'm a universal donor. The whole thing makes no sense!

Hello internet, it's good to see you again.

It's been a stressful month or so - take moving house, combine it with computer problems and a short stay in hospital and oh it's nice to be sitting down on my couch, a cat next to me and just relaxing.

I'm doing ok but I don't want to talk about it.

New house is starting to feel like home. It's still new and a little weird and as strange as it sounds, it doesn't smell the same. Although in all fairness, I haven't really spent much time here but I'm hoping over the next week I'll start to settle in.

J's been having great fun with some DIY projects and he's got quite the list of jobs he wants to get accomplished, big manchild with a toolbox that he is! We've also got some decorating to finish off so it's going to be busy couple of week especially with S starting her new job this month but it's also all very exciting and I'm looking forward to it.

J and I have both lost weight over the last few months.

I've been actively trying for the last year and have lost 45lb, hit my target and am very very proud of myself. I've been making an effort to eat heathier, drink more water, only eat when I'm hungry, get exercise regularly.

J, the little shit, hasn't been trying and has unintentionally lost 30lb since Christmas. Which isn't fair but I'm very proud of him and damn he looks good right now. That man is sexy, you know?

To reward us, S took us both shopping. I was very happy about this. I love shopping for clothes and I've got some new dresses, some new jeans, some new tops, new underwear, had my hair done. It's like I've spring cleaned myself!

J... was a lot less happy about it. Honestly, the way he was going on you'd think we were torturing him or something. He actually ended up really pissing S off and oh boy, he got into trouble. Let's just say he got intimately acquainted with the cane this afternoon and I'm not sure he's gonna be sitting down anytime soon. He's also on a sex and orgasm ban for the rest of the month. I feel a bit bad for him but really he brought it on himself.

I was thinking about New Years Resolutions and what I want to achieve, my goals for 2017.

I definitely want to continue working on my English, Maths and Science. I want to continue eating healthily and exercising. I want to retain my current mental health levels.
These are all things that have been working well for me in 2016

I heard about a website called Day Zero Project which says it's an an online community for people who love creating lists, setting challenges, and making positive changes in their lives. and it's most famous for being the home of the 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge... which is something I know I cannot commit to.

But they have a challenge called '7 Things x 2017' which is taglined as An alternative to boring New Years' resolutions. A list of seven prompts to get you thinking about what you want to achieve in 2017. And based on these prompts, I've set myself the below goals
Learn how to speak German
Start drinking more water
Stop eating when I'm not hungry
Take a vacation to somewhere new
Find happiness in the small things
Try rock climbing
Be more patient with myself

In my group session last night, we were talking about how with all the crap that goes on - in our brains, in our lives, in the world around us and in the world in general - and how it's really easy to get lost in the negativity and how we get caught in a dark feedback cycle which really isn't very easy to break. And we talked about how important it is to look after ourselves, to take the time to do things for us, to do the things we like, the things we enjoy, the things that make us feel better. How self-care is good for us.

Being me, I went and made a Self Care spread in my journal, listing out some of the things I can do for myself when I start to feel stressed and overwhelmed. My top items are:

• go for a walk


• play with the dog and/or cats


• do some yoga


• take a nap


• dance


• take a bath


• have a massage


• buy fresh flowers


• listen to some music


• bake


What do you do for yourself to help combat stress? What are your favourite self-care routines?

I have an ouchie. I've no idea how I've done it^* but I've sprained my ankle - not badly just enough that it's aching and I can't put enough weight on it. Spent a couple of hours in A&E this morning, got it x-rayed to check it wasn't broken. They've strapped it up, given me some painkillers and instructed me to rest it for a few days.

Which is how I'm sitting on the couch with my foot up on a stool. S made us a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings which was delicious. And now we're all curled up on the couch, with mugs of tea, under nice warm blankets with purring cats (and Odin flopped down over J's feet) and we're trying out some of the new season tv shows.

Some are hits, some are misses but it's fun and it's one of my favourite ways to spend time. Of course, S got all cranky with some of the science of time travel in Timeless. Although we do all agree that Hayley Atwell has amazing ass and tits in Conviction.

So yes, despite my ankle hurting, I'm focusing on the positive. I'm warm, I'm comfy, I'm snuggled up under blankets with the people I love, I have apple and cinnamon tea and I'm spending an afternoon watching TV... what's not to enjoy about that?

^{* Actually, I know exactly what I've done to it. J's got himself all interested in predicament bondage...and this is not a complaint because that is just fun! But when we were playing this morning, I wobbled a little too much and went over on my ankle. Oops!}

I have the best boyfriend* ever!

J popped home on his lunchbreak today - he'd bought me a papercraft magazine he'd seen, and because it came with some stamps, he also got me an acrylic block and a couple of ink pads. Add that to the watercolour paints and brushes that I ordered came today and I'm looking forward to seeing what I come up with. I'm not particularly artistic or creative but I think it'll be fun to play.

Healthwise I'm starting to feel better. My fever has dropped and I'm keeping down dry toast and water. I'm mostly just completely exhausted. Curled up on the couch with my S watching cheesy sci-fi DVDs, although I keep falling asleep. Oops.



*Although somehow calling J my 'boyfriend' makes me feel like we're teenagers. I don't like 'other half' or 'partner'... I really need to find a better term, although 'My J' is how I think of him.

Sorry for the long absence there, internet. Long story involving mental health, hallucinations, psychotic episodes. Stress-related, most likely related to J's mum passing and everything around it. Not very exciting, not very fun. But I'm starting to feel a lot better - ok, so I'm still curled up in bed because the thought of doing stuff is Too Much - but I'm actully more aware and awkae and online and how mny emails do I have?

Today I am very grateful for technology. Specifically my laptop, the internet, the TV and the DVD player. And Marvel's Agent Carter.

Day 2 of being sick, and I am bored. Bored bored bored. I don't think I got as sick as J - I'm already feeling better than he was at this point but I'm still ill. My stomach is still cramping but not expelling. I have a headache and a temperature but nothing that some panadol won't shift. The worst is that I'm so tired and all my joints hurt.

S basically told me and J to stay in bed. Now, usually this would be a most wonderful suggestion but it's not as fun we we can't have fun! We are however continuing to watch Season 1 of Agent Carter. And I'm futzing around on the internet. Which appears to be quite dangerous as I've managed to sign up for Pinterest and Tumblr. I'm not entirely sure what I need them for but I seem to have them regardless.

I've also been learning about bullet journals which seem quite interesting. I was telling J about them and he kinda just grunted. S, on the other hand, seems to think I need a 'creative outlet' and has been nagging me about that for a while now, so there's a potential trip to Hobbycraft or somewhere when I'm feeling better to buy journalling/scrapbooking supplies.

What are you grateful for today?

Saturdays have always been me and J's day together. (Thursday is my day with S, she has no classes that day). We started off going grocery shopping, probably my least favourite chore and I could never do it alone. It stresses me out and is the time my psychosis is likely to trigger, and I struggle telling what's real and what isn't. I've been known to walk around talking to imaginary people and thinking I'm picking up one thing when it's completely different.

Although going around a supermaket with J is somewhat akin to going with a child "That's not on the list, J", or "S won't be happy if you bring that home." But he has fun and he has the cutest smile, still makes me weak to the knees.

We came home with just enough extras to make S roll her eyes and swat J on the ass heh. Not me, since I'm his responsibility when we're alone. But we did manage to bring home everything that was on the list. Why she doesn't just do it herself when she's so particular about it, I don't know!
Probably because she'd kill J in the middle of an aisle or something ;)

J, old man that he is, decided he needed an afternoon nap. He also decided that he needed me to nap with him. Safe to say there was a lot more kissing and cuddling and fucking than there was actual napping, but laying half asleep and thoroughly orgasmic in his arms is definitely a favourite place to be. Even if S busted us eating chocolate. I mentioned yesterday that S told me I was going on a diet. Well, J and I managed to bring home half the store's worth of half-price Easter chocolate. And part of the cuddling involved an Easter egg being eaten. She just stood there, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and trying to decide if she was annoyed or amused.

I'm not the only one who's being denied tasty treats now. J is sulking. It's cute. Ever seen a 63 year old guy sulking because his chocolate was taken away from him?
At least he won't get enforced exercise because of his age and the fact he has bad knees! S is a big believer in punishment fitting the crime.

Although, while we were 'napping', S has installed a bunch of updates on my laptop and set it up to work with the printer through the wireless network. She's a bit of a computer nerd is my S! Which is a good job since I'm pretty clueless and J is probably more likely to throw it out of the window!

I've found a promising looking typing teaching website so I'll be looking at that tomorrow. See if I can get more than just my index fingers in on the action. I have no idea how long it's supposed to take to learn though, but there's 15 lessons, so probably a couple of weeks.

Other than that, it's been a pretty standard Saturday around here. Sheets and bedding changed, laundered and put away. Everywhere's clean and tidy and it's time for our usual weekend family movie night. S is being evil and making herself some popcorn in the microwave, and I know me and J won't be allowed any. It looks like J's choosing Rock Of Ages so that should be fun.

Hope you're all having a good Saturday xxx